Catholic Boys on a Tram

Travelling home on the tram today, I learnt a lot more than I care to know about the school life of one boy attending a Catholic school with a strongly traditionalist approach to education. A group of very spruce boys in neat school uniforms (mustn’t let the school down by slouching around the street looking scruffy and unkempt) got on just outside the CBD, talking very loudly.

The subject of their conversation was a boy named Nick, a fat fag who, apparently, is completely useless on the cricket field. And, to judge from their comments, he has a few problems with social skills - the sort of problems that a “fat fag” who probably wouldn’t play cricket if the school didn’t have a compulsory program would quickly develop in his desperation to get his team mates to like him.

Just how much he was disliked was obvious from the relish with which they recounted his past humiliations at the wicket and discussed ways he might be humiliated in the future. One bright lad suggested to Ashleigh, the kid who felt like smashing Nick’s face in every time he saw him (sadly he had to restrict himself to more civilised expressions of his animosity, such as flipping Nick the rude finger after bowling him out for a duck) that if he ever found himself at bat with fat, useless Nick, he could easily run him out.

The sad thing is that Nick’s parents are shelling out $1800 a year for the dubious benefit of making their son an object of hatred and derision, and humiliation on a fortnightly basis (I know these details because I did a Google search for the school when I got home. I’m not going to name the school because of the obvious risks.) This is one kid who couldn’t be any worse off if his parents had settled for a free, secular education.

Afterthought: it's also sad that there are quite a few more parents paying the $1800 a year to have their kids turned into unreflective bully-boys. Still, I imagine that won't prevent them becoming notable and worthy members of the school's Alumni Association and an easy touch when the school comes after them for a few readies to help the old alma mater in business.